Darlo's World

Road Trip – Day Five – Edinburgh Festival

Darlo — Fri, 27 Aug 2010 15:26:34 +0000

The hotel we stopped at was of the non-breakfast variety, but I actually got a good night sleep (and it was cheap) so I won’t knock it. Annoyingly we were blocked in by the hotel’s builder’s vans, so we had to wait a bit for them a budge over before we could head off on our way.

Metro Inns in Falkirk

We’d checked online the night before about what kind of events were on at Edinburgh Festival, scratch that, what kind of FREE events were on at Edinburgh Festival, and were pleasantly surprised. Our initial trouble came in the form of getting to the festival itself. The Shat-Nav knew how to reach Edinburgh, but we had forgot to look at where the festival area was before hand. After idly driving around the city for a while, we found a car park and carried on on foot. Fortunately we had parked nearby to the main street of the festival.

Sax Quartet

Yes the streets were full of performers trying to get people to see their shows. But it wasn’t an unpleasant intrusion of your face-space like I’d talked about with the Chuggers (Charity Muggers), this had a really fun atmosphere to it.

A little classical music in a cathedral, Sebastian felt so Middle-Class.

I couldn't help feel that there was something slightly comical about this being in a cathedral.

There were various performances that we’d wanted to see, like an Irish folk dance thing-a-mi-bob, but unfortunately the maps we’d picked up didn’t show us where things were exactly, and unfortunately a lot of festival staff also didn’t know where everything was. Still, we made do and enjoyed some interesting street-shows.

Edinburgh soon became one of my favourite cities

Edinburgh Castle

Courtesy of Fingers Piano Bar we enjoyed two shows: a comical cabaret by Amy Albert entitled Delilah Dix and Her Bag of Tricks, and a wonderful performance of broadway hits sung by Cheryl Anne Easton in Dear Diary.

"Dix in my Mouth", Sebastian couldn't get enough of it

Feeling hungry, we ventured to the Jekyll and Hyde bar. Imagine eating in the Addams Family home (or actually it reminded me of a place I used to work at in Somerset), and that’s the kind of style of this place. Even the toilets are concealed by bookcases, unfortunately I got confused and sent a poor girl into the mens. If you’re reading, sorry love. A word to the wise, this place does seem to ask everyone for ID, old and young. While this is something I personally don’t mind or object to (I always carry my driving license), some people do seem to take the hump when they can’t get served. Know the rules people, there’s always somewhere else.

Such a creepy chair.

The food was quite cheap here, I think about £4 for a meal. On top of that the food was actually bloody good, and I don’t mean that in a daft stupid pun-like way. Good food, good price, ~~good~~ interesting decor. Coincidentally, there was a free comedy show going on downstairs, so after we ate we went down to watch.

It's creepy and it's kooky, but the food was bloody lovely.

Three comedians and an MC all tried to make us laugh with different styles comedy and performance. What was a real treat was (and I know this may sound harsh) to see a comedian absolutely bomb. It’s something I never thought was possible! I always thought that given the fact everyone was there to relax and laugh, as a group everyone would just laugh no matter how bad the jokes were. Hence why when you’re alone at home you (well, me anyway) don’t laugh as hard as often. But seriously, I did kind of feel sorry for the guy because he looked like a buddy of mine (as well as a bit of a gross between musician Angela Aki and comedian Ed Byrne). The MC and the other two comedians were more entertaining I should point out.

For our final entertainment for the night before heading off was an evening of live jazz at the Guildford Arms. Although it got a bit busy and a bit packed, it was a very good night, but unfortunately my battery had died so I couldn’t take any pictures.

This brought an end to our Scottish adventure. We headed back to the car and set the sat-nav to take us to Hull, or as near to Hull as it possibly could. If anyone out there has trouble setting theirs to go to Hull, try instead Kingston Upon Hull, it seems to be the same place. We parked up sometime around midnight, quite literally at the England-Scotland border. I would have parked smack-bang on the border so one of us slept in Scotland and the other in England, but there was a big ass wall in the way.

203780 miles on the clock

One thing I want to bring up before shooting off to get some food, during my time on this whole trip I didn’t drink any alcohol. Mainly because I was driving and didn’t fancy risking even the slightest bit of it in my system flaring up on any detectors. So whenever I’ve been in a bar, pub or whatever, I’ve always asked what soft-drinks were available. I know that Scotland has been associated with Irn-Bru, but seriously I didn’t expect to find it available in every place I went to! Often places seemed to favour it over stuff like juice and cola. I’d never drank so much of the stuff before I went to Scotland.

Road Trip – Day Four – John O Groats to Falkirk

Darlo — Tue, 24 Aug 2010 22:15:27 +0000

大きな地図で見る

Starting Mileage: 203341

We’ve reached the top, so I guess it’s all down south from here (ish). Having added 820 miles to the clock just getting here, we headed to the official starting point.

SYHA John O Groats, where we spent the night.

After nosing through the various souvenir shops, visiting the small museum (which led us back into one of the souvenir shops), and explaining to a small group of American tourists that they weren’t a mere “30 or so kilometers” from London (you’d have thought they would have seen the sign), we were on our way.

876 miles? Maybe if you went straight there.

As this was our first day of serious driving distance wise (according to google maps our entire route would take 7 hours 20 minutes), I made sure to stop along the way for quick rests. The mountains of Scotland are beautiful, though a little strange. After waking up from a quick nap in a layby, I opened the door of the car to see a dead crustacean.

Sebastian hadn't realised Scotland was famed for seafood.

We took a short break in Inverness for some lunch, and to also meet up with a friend. Ironically while she was regaling us with a tale about a crash at an accident hot spot (while we were walking right next to it), there was almost another crash between a bus and a car; the car had jumped a red light. I love good timing.

Next on our stop was the Glenfinnan Viaduct, and, if we could time it right, seeing the Steam Train ride across it. Those Harry Potter (& the Chamber of Secrets I’m told) fans will know it as an iconic bridge where … something happened. I won’t lie I don’t know anything about HP unless it’s related to sauce. Is this the route to Hogwarts? Didn’t he get the train from London? What’s it doing up here in Scotland? Unfortunately we were too late to see the train itself, that only runs twice a day, but the viaduct was still very impressive. If only the rain didn’t dampen the fun (commence booing).

The Glenfinnan Railway Museum, still an actual train station

£18,904, that's about the end nubbing of Wayne Rooney's little finger.

Here comes the rain

The Famous Glenfinnan Viaduct

How did I get this picture, you ask?

Very bloody carefully. That's an umbrella by the way.

Sebastian and the viaduct

It looks cool, but those clouds are where we're driving next.

We left the viaduct and went southward towards Falkirk. The mountainous roads seemed endless, and the weather had become much worse. Dangerous as it got, we couldn’t help but gander over at the way the clouds were just falling across the mountains (and the sodding road).

Yes it looks cool and mystical. Unfortunately it was heading right for us.

I wanted to try and squeeze in a visit to Loch Lomond since we were somewhats in the vicinity, but with the weather being what could only be described as pretty shitty, we kept on course. To be fair, I only wanted to go there so I could sing the song (like a bit of a twat, I know).

Loch Lomond, so close and yet so far. I guess this is me taking a third middle road.

We arrived at our hotel in Falkirk tired and sodden. The Shat-Nav had sent us to the wrong area of Falkirk and we had a hell of a time finding the hotel, and the rain came down harder than ever. But that didn’t matter, for this place had free internet access.

Road Trip – Day Three – Dundee to John O Groats

Darlo — Sun, 22 Aug 2010 20:52:38 +0000

So I’ve made it back to Shropshire in one piece (though my back feels like it’s in four or five), and so it’s time to crack on with telling you about the trip.

Day Three – Dundee to John O Groats

大きな地図で見る

Bloody good breakfast. Yum.

Starting Mileage: 203017

We left the hotel and headed north, stopping early along the way for a couple of pictures.

The Waterfront

That's a pretty long looking bridge.

Driving through the hills of Scotland really was quite fun. We had empty roads and great weather. Normally when I think of Scotland I just think of cold rainy weather, the complete opposite of what we had on day 3.

Not a soul for miles it seems

After passing through Inverness, we headed back down south a bit to Loch Ness, in hope of catching a glance of the famed Loch Ness Monster (do you remember The Family Ness cartoon?).

Welcome to Loch Ness

The Loch itself is a lot bigger than I’d anticipated, but it was good to drive along side it.

Sebastian hanging out by a waterfall that flows into the Loch

Is that a monster in the lake? Nah, it was just a boat.

As I expected Loch Ness contained a lot of tourist attractions. History of the Loch, information on expeditions, a very interesting set of toilets, free parking, and even something for the pets.

Nessy gives Rover a drink

An early (yellow) submarine

And of course, we found him.

Sebastian meets Nessy, the Loch Ness Monster

I think the reason so many people fail to find him is that he’s actually no longer living in the main lake, but a smaller lake right next to Loch Ness (and right next to a gift shop, coincidentally).

Sebastian finds a mini version of nearby Urquhart Castle

We left the beautiful Loch Ness and headed North. Far North. In fact, we went all the way north!

Sunset at Dunnet Head

We went right up to Dunnet Head, the most northern point of mainland Britain (though many think John O Groats holds that honour). It was quite late so we didn’t really see much, so after having a look at the nearby lighthouse we headed to the John O Groats Youth Hostel, where we were to stay the night. Coincidentally, we met another Japanese traveller.

It doesn't get anymore north than this (in mainland Britain anyway)

Road Trip – Day Two – Leeds to Dundee

Darlo — Thu, 19 Aug 2010 12:38:44 +0000

First of all sorry that I’m late in updating about the trip. This is mainly due to the lack of internet available at places we’ve been staying, so I’m going to update you today. It’s currently Day 7, and we’ve had to make a few changes in the schedule, so for now please just enjoy the pictures and story I’ll be writing.

Day 2 – Leeds to Dundee

大きな地図で見る

I left Leeds pretty early in the morning, about 1:30 I think. When I got to Leeds I was actually still wide awake. So after doing a few things online I headed off towards Scotland and pulled over to sleep in the car when fatigue struck.

Where I had breakfast.

The drive up north was pretty long, but I had some time to spare so I made sure to stop a few times.

Sebastian admires the cows of County Durham

Sebastian meets some Scottish sheep

I popped into Drumlanrig Castle which was on my route to Glasgow Airport, but I didn’t go in though (I didn’t have that much time) but took a picture from outside.

King of the Castle

The Bridge to Drumlanrig Castle

I arrived at Glasgow Airport (not to be confused with an apparent heliport that my shat-nav wanted to visit at first), with plenty of time to meet my friend. I had a few coins in my pocket so had a play on the fruit machines, making a profit on each one.

Glasgow Airport

From here we carried on towards Dundee, where we were staying at the West Park hotel. Venturing into the town center, we had dinner in Wetherspoons. It was here I tried haggis for the first time. For a food made of sheep bits cooked in other sheep bits, it was actually quite nice, although a tad spicy for me.

We got to meet Desperate Dan in Dundee

There was a wedding ceremony going on at the hotel, so for most of the night it was very noisy. The shower too I could only describe as ‘meh’. But that didn’t really matter, we were only there for one night.

Road Trip – Day One – Telford to Leeds

Darlo — Fri, 13 Aug 2010 20:08:10 +0000

大きな地図で見る

With a relatively full tank of petrol I turned out of my road enjoying a slightly jumpy tune on the CD player (thanks to a rather bumpy road), with Sebastian, my brothers’ travelling monkey, in the passenger seat.

Starting Mileage: 202521

To be honest, I was expecting day one to be a doddle, owing to the fact I’d done this drive between Telford and Leeds many times. I did forget about two little things though: traffic and weather.

Sebastian shows how he intends to drive while I sleep.

The M6 was (as usual) a mass of cars crawling along at slow speeds, but today it was met with horrendous weather. Cars were sliding, horns were blaring, and I didn’t particularly want to crack on with the motorway, so I left and had a crack at using the Sat-Nav (something I will end up reffering to in this blog as the ‘shat-nav’ I guarantee).

Though he may have a problem when it comes to reaching the pedals.

After circling around every part of Manchester a few times I finally made it back to the motorway. By now the weather had cleared up. Before arriving at my destination for the night I stopped in to Ikea for a couple of Hot-Dogs, gotta love em. It’s going to be a long drive up north to Glasgow tomorrow, so I’d better try and get to bed early (er than what I have been).

Mileage at the end of Day One: 202663

Road Trip! Let’s Go!

Darlo — Thu, 12 Aug 2010 23:35:34 +0000

Finally, my long awaited driving holiday has arrived, and I’m looking forward to it. I’m driving from Telford to John O Groats to Lands’ End and back again, making various stops along the way. If you’re in one of those stops and want to hang out for a bit, maybe show us a sight or two, then please do get in touch!

The trip from the two tips of the island is something I’ve wanted to do since I was a kid. When I was working in Somerset I’d already visited Lands’ End, so just needed to go up north.

大きな地図で見る

You’ll have to pardon the Japanese maps, I took them from the Japanese version of this blog entry (but the English is there aswell).

The Plan

大きな地図で見る

13th August (Fri)
・From Telford to Leeds
・Sleep in Leeds

大きな地図で見る

14th August (Sat)
・From Leeds to Glasgow
・Pick up my mate from Glasgow Airport
・From Glasgow to Perth
・Sleep in Perth

大きな地図で見る

15th August (Sun)
・From Perth to John O’ Groats
・Sleep in John O’ Groats

大きな地図で見る

16th August (Monday)
・From John O’ Groats to Inverness
・Have a visit to Loch Ness
・From Inverness to Edinburgh
・Sleep in Edinburgh

大きな地図で見る

17th August (Tue)
・Enjoy the Edinburgh Festival
・Sleep in Edinburgh

大きな地図で見る

18th August (Wed)
・From Edinburgh to Leeds
・Sleep in Leeds

大きな地図で見る

19th August (Thur)
・From Leeds to Weston Super Mare
・Sleep in Weston Super Mare

大きな地図で見る

20th August (Fri)
・From Weston Super Mare to Nether Stowey
・From Nether Stowey to Lands’ End
・From Lands’ End to Exmouth
・Sleep in Exmouth

大きな地図で見る

21st August (Sat)
・From Exmouth to Salisbury (however, it’s still not been decided yet, so we might go to Brighton instead)
・Sleep in Salisbury (or Brighton)

大きな地図で見る

大きな地図で見る

22nd August (Sun)
・From Salisbury (or Brighton) to London
・Drop my friend off at London Airport
・From London to Telford
・The trip ends.

大きな地図で見る

大きな地図で見る

How to Avoid The Chuggers (Charity Muggers)

Darlo — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 00:06:32 +0000

Take a walk down pretty much any high street these days, and often just a regular street, and chances are you’ll get accosted by a ‘chugger’. No I’m not talking about someone overly downing a massive amount of beer, though they may go and do that later on. I’m talking about very cheerily aggressive people stopping you and telling you all about the wonders of a charity that they’re supposedly trying to help.

Chugger (noun): Charity + Mugger
Paid “charity” street worker (read: student) who has been trained to believe that they are carrying out a worthy task, improving peoples’ lives by conning Joe Public out of their money for this week’s Good Cause. Usually an agency worker where the agency takes a hefty cut of the hourly rate that the charity in question has paid for, whilst at the same time increasing profits by selling on details of those foolish enough to actually stop and sign up to said Good Cause. (Urban Dictionary)

So while your walking down town and trying to mind your own business and keep your money safe, what methods do you use to try and steer clear of these young ambitious (and seemingly well paid) chuggers? A couple of friends and I have assembled a top 10 list of our favourite tried and tested methods that have got us out of awkward conversations and helped a real charity-case; ourselves. I do want to point out that I’m not against charities and do give what I can when I can (which I’ll admit isn’t very often), but I’m not a fan of “all these people are suffering and only you can help them” type sales pitches. I don’t want that kind of responsibility, I’m not frickin’ Batman.

Honourable Mention: Rugby – When eye contact is made, picture yourself on a rugby pitch with the tri line just behind them. Run, dodge and weave your way right past them, not stopping until you’ve planted your non-existent ball (usually your shopping) in the scoring zone (usually the lap of an elderly man sitting on a bench).

Chuggers may use subtle psychology to try and part you from your money.

10. Photography – Interestingly how I got the pictures for this blog. When you’re walking down the road and spot the Chugger Patrol, get your camera out and look up and the tops of the buildings. Take a few pictures (fake it if you want), then fiddle with some settings. Say things to yourself like “ooh, the lighting isn’t quite right” and “I’ll just adjust the exposure a tad” then take a couple more. By which time the chuggers will have seen you ‘working’ and won’t be arsed to talk to you as you walk past them. The main downside to this is that it can take a little time, so not ideal if you’re in a hurry.

9. Be Literate – As well as killing time on a long commute, having a book, newspaper, or magazine to hand can help bypass a chugger or two. Open a page and put your nose right in to give you an excuse not to notice the massive smiley person after your money. However, try to keep an eye on where you’re going, particularly if you’re heading towards a main road, otherwise a chugger will be the last of your worries.

8. The Direct Approach – Chuggers are trained to be very friendly and positive in their approach, so this is a regular fire versus fire technique. Instead of allowing a chugger to spot and approach you, you head in their direction with the biggest creepy grin your can concoct. You can make this more effective by turning your head slightly sidewise but maintaining eye contact. The goal is to get nearer to the chugger so they get creeped out and move to someone behind you. However, cock-this up and you’ve virtually given your bank details right to them.

7. The Very Direct Approach – The English language has been blessed with a rich lexicon, as such there are plenty of words that you wouldn’t want your 8 year old to shout in front of a church of elderly people. This technique is commonly used by anyone who has had a bad day, normally work-related, but isn’t recommended for people with small children (protect their little sodding ears and all that). It works simply as this, when approached by a chugger, trying to capture your attention by talking about how great things are, you simple keep on walking but give them two “words of encouragement” that rhyme with Cook Off.

6. Be Embarrassing – Most effective when you’re visiting somewhere that people are unlikely to see you again, so not one for your home towns. Once eye contact with a chugger is made you have but a few seconds to try and make yourself as unappealing as possible and make the chugger go straight for the unfortunate person behind you. Some suggestions are faking tourettes, rip off your t-shirt and shove it down your bottoms, or get into dance mode and try to moonwalk past the chugger.

5. The Floor – I’ll tell you what, I never noticed how fascinate the floor is. Go ahead, have a look. If you think it’s pretty good now, it’s really thrilling when you’re out there on Chugger Street. Pulling off the ‘Stare At The Floor’ does require a bit of a steely determination, and a dynamite concentration. Try focussing on the feet of the person in front of you, unless of course it’s a chugger. Like the reading a book tip, watch where you’re heading.

To be fair, this Chugger started his spiel with "I'm not after your money today".

4. I’m Late! – One of the easiest evasion methods on here. When approached by a chugger simply speed up your walk, point down to your wrist, and announce that “you’re late for work, sorry”. This can have comical effects when you’re wearing a t-shirt and clearly have no watch on. Be warned though, a determined chugger will offer to walk with you in which case you’d better think of somewhere you can get to and claim it to be your place of work (if you’re brave, properly equipped, and love a bit of irony, you could always be on your way to work as a chugger yourself).

3. Eigo ga dekinai (I don’t speak English) – A treat for anyone who has an interest in the world. For this one to work you have to be able to mutter a line or two in a foreign language, something most of us can do thanks to learning it at school (if we can remember that far back) or European holidays. Beware that most chuggers are or have been University students, and it’s very possible that they studied that language that you are about to try and blag your fluency in. This is more likely to be the case with European languages. Thankfully I have yet to meet a chugger who can speak Japanese.

2. iGnore – The beauty of the portable music player has meant that you have a visible reason for blatantly ignoring people. Spot a chugger down the street and whack your headphones in. You don’t even need to be listening to anything, as long as your headphones are visible you can just breeze past them. You can make this more effective by singing along (quietly) to what you’re listening to (or pretending to listen to). Of course listening to loud music means you’re (supposedly) more likely to get robbed, so still keep your wits about you.

Smart move my friend, keep your hands on your money ... literally.

1. The Phone – The easiest way to avoid chuggination in this day and age is down to the fact that there are over 70 million mobile phones connected in the UK (which is actually quite funny if you know what the UK population size is). The technique is to simply whack your phone to your ear and pretend to talk to someone. Use a few “hmm, yeah …” and “so did it work?” type sentences, try to imagine a conversation you might have with someone. Or if your imagination’s not up to the task, you could actually ring someone and have a brief chat. This way if you’re approached by a chugger you just need to gesture to your phone and they’ll get the hint (unless they’re sodding rude). Please remember to put your phone on silent, otherwise you risk not only deafening yourself but also looking like a complete berk.

So there we have it, our top ten tips on how to avoid getting chugged. Unfortunately if the dialogue begins you’re on your own there, but here are three quick methods of trying to break it. First of all, if they ask you any ‘Qualifier Question’ (ie are you in a specific age group) just say “No”. If it’s followed up with other questions just repeat No until they get bored of you. If they have a memorised script then let them say the entire thing, then just stand there for a moment, make a few “thinking noises” then casually walk off. If all else fails, start crying. You can almost guarantee they’ll let you go.

And just because a friend of mine asked me how the Japanese ignore people, here’s a rather stereotypical scenario (set to start at 5:33).

Bad Joke Warning

Darlo — Thu, 22 Jul 2010 22:41:09 +0000

Like the constipated man who has taken a dozen fast-acting laxatives, I have finally moved again.

So bad, I self-facepalmed

For those doubters of my ability to get a house closer than my previous one (which, traffic pending, would have me on campus within 20 seconds) I say … well, can’t really be bothered to think of a clever and witty reply but I have done just that. My new house is right on campus, mere seconds from the Student Union Building, and my room itself is pretty damn awesome. I’ll be honest, I’m in the basement so I’m not sure how it’ll do come winter (especially if there’s heavy snowfall), so I’ll update you on that when the time comes. It’s a 10 bed house (somewhat’s larger than … anything I’ve had before, bar the dorm in Japan), but the housemates I’ve met so far seem pretty cool.

A very quick update on the bear from the last entry. It didn’t sell.

Last weekend I had the privilege of having two of my Japanese friends come down to Telford. As well as having a couple of trips to the pub (including a not so bland time at the Cross Keys thanks to a couple of awesome dancers), we had a look around just a few (time wasn’t really with us) of the things Telford has to offer.

We started off with a trip to the Blists Hill Museum, a living museum set in Victorian Ironbridge. Surprisingly I actually learned quite a bit, despite having gone there numerous times as a kid; like the origins of the terms ‘Come a Cropper’ and ‘Mind Your Ps and Qs’. Oh you crazy printer. SilverTiger has many pictures and explanations of what goes on at Blists Hill, so feel free to pop over and have a gander. By the way, their bread is unrivalled – Up yours Kingmill!

Before heading over to the Shopping Center, we also have a look at some of the other museums (having bought the passport ticket we thought we’d get our moneys worth), and of course the world famous Ironbridge itself. I’d not been to Enginuity before due to it being relatively new. Something told me it seemed to be more aimed at kids, possibly the 300 little buggers running around, but it was quite an enjoyable museum with some very frustrating quizzes.

　At the Telford Town Center, we marvelled at the Telford Time Machine (don’t get excited sci-fi fans, it’s just a big clock with a frog on it) as well as looking around the Maxell Cherry Gardens; unfortunately the sakura (Japanese cherry blossoms) were not blossoming, ney mind.

On the Sunday we headed to Birmingham to enjoy something sweet at Cadbury World. Again somewhere I’d been numerous times as a child, but this is a place that always changes. Somethings were missing, like the spicy drink you get at the start, but some new features have been added, like a room explaining the chocolate process in a manner similar to the Room of Living Dolls, though less terrifying. But somethings stay the same and you are given chocolate at various stages and arrive at a cheap chocolate shop at the end (misshapes, yes!).

My friends enjoying the Cadabra ride

We then headed over to Selfridges and the Bull Ring shopping center. Unfortunately I had completely forgot about Sunday trading hours, and we were left with just a few minutes to nose around before shutters started coming down. We then went for a wander around the city before making our way back to the car, and eventually Leeds.

Before I head off and continue unpacking (go get a pizza and then come back and contemplate unpacking) there is one thing that has bothered me during my time back in Telford.

View Larger Map

I’ve been living in Telford all of my life (when not buggering off here and there) and in that time I’ve always lived in Leegomery. Apply was always a small area just past the hospital where Maxell was, however now it seems like the area I grew up in is being rubbed out like an unwanted smarmy comment on an eBay seller feedback. Signage for Leegomery has gone down and been replaced by (very dull, if really must pick fault) Apley signage. Driving around I was unable to find any ‘Entering Leegomery’ signs.

But why has this happened? Officially I don’t know, as I haven’t been in the area due to Uni I’ve not seen any notices in the news etc. After chatting with a couple of friends (who also didn’t recall being told about it), we’ve come to one pretty unpleasant theory. The houses nearer to the hospital are without a doubt nicer than those further towards Hadley, and ‘problems’ normally are less associated with the hospital area. It was our theory that the nicer area is trying to seperate from the riff-raff in an “I’m better than thou” fashion. Of course this is just a theory, but still. I wonder if it’s this easy to get a divorce.

Apley Replaces Leegomery

HUGE BEAR FOR SALE! O_O (edit: more photos)

Darlo — Mon, 05 Jul 2010 23:40:29 +0000

Hey everyone, I’m selling a huge bear on eBay. Please tell your friends.

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=330448961030

For Sale on eBay

5 Foot 8 Inch Tall “Bear Factory” Display Bear

Absolutely huge display bear from the Bear Factory chain of stores (formerly a part of Hamleys though now known as Build a Bear Workshop). This particular bear was from the Telford branch that I once worked at, and was given it after the last shift before the shop underwent its refit (and was no longer needed). It also went to the Telford MCM Anime, Manga, Comic and Sci-Fi Expo in September 2007 (you might be able to find some pictures of him online).

Don’t actually want to sell him, but I’m having to have a clear out to try and save some money for my final year University. Due to his size, if you walk into a room and unexpectedly see him you might get a bit startled (which can actually be quite funny when you have guests over). Hence why he can’t stay at home much longer. It would probably suit a kids bedroom that has a lot of other bears already, or somewhere where his smile can warm the room.

There are a couple of darker spots on his head from his time in the shop, and has spent a couple of months in an attic.

Due to his size (height = 68 inches (170cm), length & width = 22 inches (55cm)) and weight (around 12kg (1.89 stone)) this is an eBay item that won’t fit in the standard postman’s bag. I would highly recommend a local pick up (in which case pay on pick up will be fine), though if you’re in Telford (TF post code) I will probably be able to deliver this myself at no cost. Otherwise the buyer will have to arrange for a courier/delivery service etc. I will try to get some quotes in the next day or so and update the auction, though if you’re outside mainland UK I’m afraid you might be out of luck.

Don’t miss this chance to have a very rare (and very cute) bear for your collection, and please do feel free to ask any questions!

DrainsAid and The Stink At Number 2

Darlo — Sat, 12 Jun 2010 02:50:24 +0000

DrainsAid - It's like an alarm clock made of faeces

It’s probably been about 25 years since I last woke up and thought “what’s that smell? Oh shit, have I shat myself?”, so when I woke up this morning to the stench of sewage rather than the smell of just a student bedroom (which for the record are actually different) I was caught a bit off guard. The smell was accompanied by the noise of some kind of contruction work outside, but as my road is currently being dug up for lamp-post rennovation that part didn’t really shock me too much. I stood up on the bed, but unfortunately the higher I got the stronger the odour became. I headed over to the window.

“Oh … shit!”

DrainsAid (yes they remove the space between the two words because … um … no I couldn’t find a reason either) had two trucks and were up the road doing … something. But this ‘something’ meant that not only was I going to miss the bowl of Shreddies that I was looking forward to (after I went and got milk the night before specially for it), but I also had to get the hell out of my room, lest I wish to vomit into my laundry hamper and further stink up the place.

I opened my bedroom door and was punched in the face with a brick-like fist of something I can only describe as a mummy’s arse, and the worst part was that my mouth was open. After wretching somewhats nastilly and giving all my inner strength to keeping the contents of my stomach down (I had eaten a mars bar during the night), I threw myself back into my less odour-filled bedroom and quickly shut the door. I threw on some clothes, any clothes, it didn’t matter which. I jotted down DrainAids phone number on a post it and shoved it in my pocket, took a photo of one of the trucks from my window, grabbed a can of air-freshener from the cupboard, stuck my head under my blanket and took a deep breath, and ran through the house spraying every cubic centimeter of air I could. After feeling faint, I crawled back to my room and stuck my head back under the blanket. Taking another deep breath I headed downstairs, where the smell had yet to have much of an impact (our toilets are on the middle floor, my floor), and was then out the door.

I wanted to call DrainsAid to find out why we hadn’t been given any notice that our house would be given the delightful aroma of swine-sphincter, but couldn’t stomach the idea of making a phone call on the middle floor. As they have a freephone number I headed to the phone box around the corner. Unfortunately there was someone already in there when I arived; a dying bee. Having already been subject to a wasp attack back when I was a lad, I didn’t fancy sharing any space with a pissed-off stinging thing-a-mi-bob. I popped to the next phone box along, only to find his equally dying and pissed off twin brother.

I took a walk down the road to my next nearest phone box. No bees in this one, just a lovely pile of sick. It didn’t smell though, and as long as I watched my footing I didn’t step in it; I really didn’t fancy looking for yet another phone box.

I got through to a guy at DrainsAid at about 2:10pm. I gave him details of what was happening and asked him why we weren’t told about it in advance. He said that he couldn’t find it on his system, but would give me a call back when he finds out. Poor guy sounded so downtrodden, perhaps they’re sorting the drains out outside their offices too, I thought.

I headed down to the Unipol (my landlords) office to see if they’d been told anything about works in the area, but again they’d heard nothing. They said that they too would get in touch with DrainSaid and see if they could find something out. Good ol’ Unipol. They asked me to get back in touch with them if the house still stank at about 4 o’clock, so in the meantime I headed to the Union for a bit of a nose.

While in the bookshop, nosing at the old crap that people don’t want section (aka 2nd hand books, three of which I ended up buying today), my phone rang. Unfortunately it stopped ringing before it had chance to actually make any noise. I had my phone in my hand so felt it vibrate, but it stopped just as I looked at the screen. I couldn’t even call them back, the buggers withheld the number. I knew it wasn’t Unipol (they don’t withhold their number and they actually wait for you to answer the phone), so I had a hunch it was DrainalAids.

HG Air Neutraliser for all Bad Smells - £4.57 at Amazon

I went back to the house and gagged on the smell of sewage and over-excitable air-freshening. Thankfully the drainage guys had left so the rancid smell had begun to subside. I went back to Unipol to let them know the scented-situation.

DrainAid explained to Unipol that they had drainage work scheduled in the area either on Monday or tomorrow (I won’t lie, I don’t remember which), so it couldn’t possibly have been them. Oh DrainsAid, don’t be so silly. You know in this day and age everyone hates liars (and also carry phones with cameras). I explained to the guy at Unipol that I had taken a picture of one of the vans, to which he said he’d call them up again and then give me a call. After leaving the office I had a good look at the picture to see if I could see the license plate as well. My first camera phone wasn’t as good as this.

I had a call not too much later. Apparently DoughnutAid had indeed been working up the road on an Emergency call out due to some of the flats accross the road getting flooded. Now to me that’s a good enough reason for not giving us notice. There’s no need to claim that they weren’t there and there’s definately no need for the half-arsed attempt of “calling you back”. The only result from this is that DrainsAid now look like an unprofessional organisation who don’t even know where their own staff are.

Silly buggers.

I went to the pub and caught the end of the South Africa Vs Mexico match (it is World Cup time after all), before heading home to air out the house a bit more.

As usual with my complaints I invite DrainsAid to comment on here and will send them an email to let them know about the entry. It’s getting a bit late so I’ll probably do the Japanese version to this in the morning.